Frankie Thirteen dot com.

Holy fuck, he sounds glorious. anji-beast: tyleroakley: Jeremy...

Fri, 18 May 2012 06:39:37 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

Holy fuck, he sounds glorious.

tyleroakley:

Jeremy Renner singing New York State Of Mind on Jimmy Fallon.

I was NOT expecting THAT voice out of THAT man.

mola1: Hey, I got your #ChuckNorrisFact right here… Best grin...

Fri, 18 May 2012 05:41:08 -0400

mola1:

Hey, I got your #ChuckNorrisFact right here…

Best grin ever. By the way, anyone out there see I Am Bruce Lee? How is it?

here's what I thought about Wrestlemania...

Wed, 04 Apr 2012 07:11:00 -0400

Wrestlemania XXVIII is in the books, as is the following night’s Raw. How did it all end up? How do things look going forward? Well, let’s go over my predictions…

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus (for the World Heavyweight Championship)

Who should win: Daniel Bryan’s been doing some great work as champion, and I feel like this feud could get better and nastier as it goes on.
Who will win: Again, Sheamus is in the midst of a push, and the company’s higher on him than it is on D-Bry. Also, some have suggested (e.g. the fine folks at Cageside Seats) that losing the strap is necessary for Bryan’s heel character to evolve and get really evil. I don’t quite agree that a loss is required, but a face needs to walk out of Sun Life Stadium as champion, so I think Sheamus is going to go Vegan Police on Bryan.
Who did win: I called it—Sheamus went over Bryan to win the big gold strap, but no one expected the show-opening bout to go only 18 seconds. Bryan got a kiss from AJ just as the bell rang, only to get nailed in the kisser immediately after with a Brogue Kick. Three seconds later, Sheamus was the new champ.

What does this mean for the feud going forward? I don’t know. The return of Alberto Del Rio on the following night’s Raw complicated things further as the aristocrat emerged to challenge Sheamus for the belt, while Bryan and AJ silently looked on.

It should be said, however, that “YES!” chants seem to be overtaking “WHAT?” chants in popularity—about time something did—so if this trend continues, Bryan shouldn’t be out of the title picture for too long.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Who should win: Randy Orton, because I doubt this filler program will go far past Wrestlemania.
Who will win: Randy Orton (depending upon when he’s leaving to shoot The Marine 3).
Who did win: Now here’s a shocker—Kane actually took out the Apex Predator with a chokeslam off the top rope. Their program will continue with a rematch on Friday’s SmackDown, and unless someone interferes, it’ll continue into Extreme Rules.

It’s worth mentioning that Orton was pulled from the lead role in The Marine: Homefront when it was discovered that his own Marine Corps service ended in a dishonorable discharge. I don’t know how negatively it’ll affect his booking, or if it did (then again, WWE Films should have done their due diligence), but I do know it means he should be sticking around for a while to finish off this feud.

Still, Orton performed like the team player he’s been lately, so he’s really due for a high-profile win soon.

Cody Rhodes vs. the Big Show (for the Intercontinental Championship)

Who should win: Hard to call, as both men have a legitimate claim here. Cody should win because he’s on a roll with that IC belt, Show should win because he needs it.
Who will win: Cody Rhodes, which perhaps sets up a berserker heel turn for Show down the line?
Who did win: Big Show, in a decent though unspectacular match, which was nonetheless made special by his own tearful reaction to winning the IC belt—and finally getting his Wrestlemania moment. Show interfered in Rhodes’ match with Kofi Kingston the next night on Raw, which means these two are likely gonna keep going at it until Extreme Rules.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Eve and Beth Phoenix

Who should win: Beth Phoenix and Eve, really by default.
Who will win: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos, because the celebrity guest always goes over.
Who did win: As I predicted, Kelly and Maria won out. The most surprising aspect of the match to me wasn’t the match but the post-event reactions to it. People actually considered this a competent match. I considered it a mess with sloppy, botched spots and laughable selling. Worse, Maria Menounos was working hurt thanks to a rib injury sustained on Dancing with the Stars, and it showed.

Disappointingly, Kharma did not show up to squash everyone afterwards (as my friend Andy predicted). All is quiet on that front, currently, although I’m sure we can all agree she can take all the time she needs.

Triple H vs. the Undertaker (Hell in a Cell with special guest referee Shawn Michaels)

Who should win: Undertaker.
Who will win: Unless the WWE loses all collective sense, Undertaker.
Who did win: Undertaker, although like the best of his Wrestlemania matches, there were a couple of moments when the outcome was in doubt.

The big surprise, however, was the quality of the match. I mean that with a capital Q—this was far and away an improvement over last year’s showdown between the two men, and with Shawn Michaels officiating and all three men inside the giant Cell, there was a feeling of great scope that was missing before. This was less a wrestling match than it was a mythic war drawing to a close.

In terms of storytelling, everyone brought it. Triple H and Undertaker brought righteous rage and peerless ring psychology into the cell, and a willingness to descend into the sort of savagery we haven’t seen in years. There was no blading, but both men actually bloodied each other, throwing one another around the cage and employing chairs, sledgehammers, the ring steps, and sometimes the cell itself as implements of brutality.

Then there was Shawn Michaels, whose depiction of a man torn between a friendship, a legacy, and the right thing did so much to sell the violence of the match. Some of his emoting may have tilted toward melodrama—his shivering in the corner at the carnage inflicted was a bit much—but when he turned his back while Undertaker finished off Triple H, it was a telling, brilliant choice.

When Undertaker and Michaels embraced Triple H at the top of the ramp, I felt it reminiscent of the Curtain Call in a way—three men breaking kayfabe to show appreciation for each other and what they’ve meant to one another and to wrestling as a whole. None of them are said to be retiring just yet, but for a fleeting moment, it felt like the “end of an era” WWE had been promoting. It was a re-visitation, then a symbolic coda to the Attitude Era and everything it represented. No matter who returns from here on in, that period is over. The chapter is well and truly closed, and it couldn’t have seen a better end.

(One last thing—the WWE’s television production staff outdid themselves, helping to craft one of the most visually accomplished presentations of professional wrestling in years. There were shots that blew me away with their striking composition, such as when the Undertaker stepped on Triple H’s sledgehammer, leveling his menacing glare onto his opponent. The pacing was great too, picking up the slack when the action in the ring slowed. Masterful work all around.)

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Who should win: I don’t know—I actually don’t like heel authority figures in power for the long term, but it’s looking like Laurinaitis is poised to be a long-term onscreen player. It’s probably for the best, as he’s quietly developed into a pretty funny character.
Who will win: For the above reason, I predict Johnny Ace’s squad to win.
Who did win: Team Johnny, thanks to an assist from Eve who distracted Zack Ryder long enough for the Miz to hit the Skull-Crushing Finale. With his pinfall at ‘Mania, and a singles win over Ryder the next night on Raw, it looks like Miz is finally back in management’s good graces.

Although it wasn’t one of the most awaited matches on the card, this one probably had the biggest implications. Although Laurinaitis’ win seemed a foregone conclusion, it now officially opens Raw and Smackdown to a raft of new story possibilities. Big Johnny’s takeover of both shows effectively makes him the most powerful man in WWE (onscreen) after Vince and Triple H, and how he’ll handle that power, especially headed into the Draft, is going to be interesting to see.

(Also, with Laurinaitis in control of both shows, perhaps it’s time to consider ending the Brand Extension? No? Yeah, I didn’t think so.)

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (for the WWE Championship)

Who should win: I don’t think it really matters so long as these two deliver a classic.
Who will win: Jericho, to set up a rematch at Extreme Rules in the Chicago area, where Punk wins it back in front of his hometown crowd…hopefully in a ladder match.
Who did win: CM Punk, which goes to show I should stop expecting how these things are gonna go. While not quite the unquestioned classic I was expecting, the two put on a solid contest with great ring work and superior psychology. Jericho shouting, wild-eyed, “How’s your father?” was one of the most unhinged moments of the show—just that look in his eyes and the tone of his voice. He also looked more like a young Roddy Piper here than he ever has before, in mannerisms and even in look, just a slight bit.

Punk won the match in a definitive fashion, forcing Jericho to submit to the Anaconda Vise, but the feud continued the following night when Jericho stalked an already battered Punk after a count-out loss to Mark Henry, poured “Jack Daniels” down the champ’s throat, and bashed him over the head with the bottle. It wasn’t an unexpected moment, but it added heat to an already emotional feud (it might have added more had Jericho not slipped and fallen on his ass). Expect these two to go at it tooth and nail at Extreme Rules—hopefully in a ladder match.

The Rock vs. John Cena

Who should win: John Cena. Yes, I said it.
Who will win: I have no clue, and I’m actually thrilled about it.
Who did win: The Rock, clean, in the middle of the ring. The match itself was about as good as Rock/Hogan, and the crowd was hot for it, but something about it was off. Maybe it was Cena’s goofy smile during the staredown. Or perhaps it was the fact that both men’s flaws were highlighted in the match, or their relative lack of in-ring chemistry. But I guess it did what it was supposed to do, and it wasn’t a terrible match, all told.

But where does Cena go from there? And Rock, for that matter? The next night on Raw, Rock revealed that he wants to be champion again, though when that’ll happen is anyone’s guess right now. Cena, on the other hand, decided he would just soldier on and try to be the man again, a sentiment that was met with not only boos but an F-fuckin’-5 from a returning Brock Lesnar!

So while Rock swans off for a bit to go back to his real job, we’re looking at a Lesnar-Cena program, with Brock contracted to show up more than Dwayne did (at least twice a month). Granted, these two beefed before (which helped Cena get over back then), but a feud now, with Cena at the height of his superpowers and Brock back from being the king of the cage, might be just what we need.

And what about the rest of the show?

Of course, there were some skits and everything, this being Wrestlemania and all. One of the guys from Deadliest Catch did a segment with Santino and Mick Foley, elevated by an always welcome appearance from Hall of Famer Ron Simmons. The 2012 Hall of Fame class (including Simmons) was presented, and footage from the ceremony drew the requisite amount of throat lumps (especially Edge). And then Brodus Clay came out.

Now, I love the Funkasaurus, and was thrilled to see him get time on the big stage. And I’m not against a musical number (though the MGK and Flo Rida performances fell pretty flat for me). But Brodus’ “mama” and her “bridge club” were troublesome. Though I enjoyed it at the time (with reservations), I couldn’t help but agree with everyone else watching with me that it was pretty offensive.

The Funkasaurus character, though stereotypical, isn’t really that harmful to me. Black or white, some dudes love to dance. Sure, the disco stuff and the “funkettes” lay it on a bit thick, but it’s all in good fun and still far enough from characters like the Godfather and Slick. It’s just a guy in a hat and a tracksuit dancing and having a good time.

Or it was until you had a dozen or more identically dressed and coiffed “mamas” with fake fat asses shakin’ it—that’s when the stereotype isn’t just staring you in the face, it’s smacking you in the mouth. That when it isn’t all that fun anymore.

This is nothing new for WWE, just another instance in Vince McMahon’s long love affair with racism. Against everything else the WWE has pulled—Papa Shango, Slick, Kai En Tai, and let’s not forget Muhammad Hassan—it’s fairly innocuous. In fact, I found the debut of Lord Tensai on Raw the next night much more offensive. Here is the return of Prince Albert/A-Train as a Japanese warlord, accompanied to the ring by a servile Japanese attendant. It’s rather insulting, again, don’tcha think?

I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect better, because we should always expect—and demand better. We’re just…still a long way away. For every Booker T and Rock, you’ve got Too Cool, Tajiri in his early WWE period, and the Mexicools.

But hey, Wrestlemania was a fun show.

here's what I think about Wrestlemania...

Sun, 01 Apr 2012 12:42:00 -0400

Wrestlemania XXVIII is today, and the WWE is pretty much set for what looks to be the biggest show in its history. Most of the hype, obviously, is built on the main event, the long-awaited showdown between The Rock and John Cena. The rest of the card (mostly) looks strong, but let’s not kid ourselves here—Rock vs. Cena is what everyone is coming to see.

Anyway, I had a habit back in the day of making ‘Mania predictions on my LiveJournal, so let’s resurrect that here and look at the entire card.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs. Eve and Beth Phoenix

Divas matches on a WWE card are generally disposable, and this looks to be no different. In the ring, Kelly Kelly is not entirely awful—at best. Eve is okay, and Beth is a better in-ring worker than both of them combined. Add this year’s celebrity outsider in Menounos, and you have a bathroom break.

That isn’t to say it couldn’t be good, or that women’s wrestling is to be disregarded as a rule. It’s just that the WWE has no clue how to book its women’s division, or just doesn’t give two craps. It’s a far cry from just six years ago, when Trish Stratus and Mickie James fought for the Women’s Championship in one of the undisputed highlights of that pay-per-view.

The build for this has been pretty subpar too. Personally, I think Eve should have turned long ago, after being constantly used as Kelly’s best friend and perennial sidekick. The way her turn actually played out, what with the Kane/Zack Ryder/John Cena mess, was abysmal and actually insulting.

As for the actual match itself, I couldn’t care less about the outcome, but I suppose…

Who should win: Beth Phoenix and Eve, really by default.
Who will win: Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos, because the celebrity guest always goes over.

Randy Orton vs. Kane

Randy Orton has evolved past his reputation of real-life asshole (and a dude who may or may not shit in girls’ gym bags) into one of a worker who can have a great match with just about anyone. Since dropping the World Heavyweight Championship to Mark Henry last year, he’s been putting over Smackdown talent in an effort to spread his star power around (in case you hadn’t noticed, he’s insanely over).

So in that respect, it’s kind of unfair that he gets lumped into a fairly meaningless feud with Kane going into Wrestlemania. Not that I think Kane’s a horrible worker or anything, but his character is kind of stagnant. He’s a monster, then he’s a good guy, then he regrets being a good guy and becomes a monster again. This feud started out of nowhere, and the crux was later revealed to be Kane’s anger over his own show of sportsmanship after the two had a street fight match last year.

However, Kane could very well win this match. Randy is going to leave soon to shoot The Marine 3, so they need to write him out somehow, sometime. Whether that time is tonight at Mania or tomorrow night on Raw is anyone’s guess.

Who should win: Randy Orton, because I doubt this filler program will go far past Wrestlemania.
Who will win: Randy Orton (depending upon when he’s leaving to shoot The Marine 3).

Team Teddy vs. Team Johnny

Speaking of filler, this match replaces Money in the Bank as being the one match with all of the castoffs who don’t have their own programs going into ‘Mania. At least there’s been a bit of a build there—ever since Elimination Chamber, John Laurinaitis, Executive Vice President of Talent Relations and interim General Manager of Raw, has made no secret of his intent to become permanent General Manager of both Raw and Smackdown. To that end, he has sought to undermine Smackdown GM Teddy Long, leading up to this big 12-man tag match.

Laurinaitis’ flunky David Otunga (aka Mr. Jennifer Hudson) captains a team composed of himself, Mark Henry, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, the Miz, and Drew McIntyre. Meanwhile, Long’s team features captain Santino Marella, R-Truth, Kofi Kingston, Zack Ryder, the Great Khali, and Booker T.

I expect it’ll be an okay match, probably even fun, but far too many wrestlers to make a real impact.

For a while, the talk was of Big Show facing Shaq at this year’s Showcase of the Immortals, but WWE has shot that down, instead pitting the giant against Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes. Rhodes is another guy who’s coming into his own, riding that disfigurement gimmick from last year into some really good work with Rey Mysterio and Randy Orton. While he hasn’t quite done as he said he would in restoring glory to the Intercontinental Championship, he has established himself as a solid, magnetic heel.

As much as I hate to say it, there isn’t a whole lot you can do with Big Show. Giants in wrestling are walking David and Goliath stories, or Godzilla movies. He’s coming off that program with Mark Henry, and into an event at which he has a fairly bad history. In fact, it’s pretty clever of creative to turn Big Show’s Wrestlemania record into the driving force of this feud. Cody wants to prove that Big Show is a big choke, and Show wants to finally start winning at Mania. It’s actually more compelling than if we were to get Shaq vs. Show.

That said, I don’t know who’s gonna come out of this one. Cody’s got good heat going into this, and I would expect they’d want Show to put him over, but at the same time, you have Show lose and he loses all credibility. His legacy as a threat is kind of predicated on this match.

Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus (for the World Heavyweight Championship)

What a difference a year makes, huh? At the last Wrestlemania, these two had a match for Bryan’s United States Championship that was bumped from the televised card entirely! And now, they’re in one of the co-main events for this year’s Mania, with roles reversed. Sheamus is the smiling babyface now, a happy-go-lucky fella who still loves a brawl. Meanwhile, Daniel Bryan has turned into the better-than-thou heel, who celebrates longer and louder than everyone else, believes his veganism gives him added prowess, and somehow manages to keep his hands on the belt.

In fact, it’s been one of the better heel turns in recent memory, mirroring his old buddy/rival CM Punk in 2009. Both men were Money in the Bank winners and cashed in their briefcases after repeated hesitation (Bryan had promised to wait until ‘Mania, then almost cashed in on Mark Henry at Big Show’s urging, before chasing in on Show himself; whereas Punk had earlier kept trying to cash in unsuccessfully, before finally getting his match against Jeff Hardy after the champ had retained at Extreme Rules ‘09), and both Bryan and Punk had “better than you” gimmicks they gradually emphasized during the turn, based on their actual lifestyles (Punk’s straight edge life, Bryan’s veganism—and it should be noted Punk has recently become vegan).

Both men also spent the majority of their careers buried before their first World Heavyweight Title reign (though that was Punk’s second World Heavyweight Championship, and he still didn’t get the respect he desired/deserved until “the shoot” last year), and it’s hard to predict what will happen to Bryan if he loses tonight. Will he plummet back down to the midcard and toil away their until creative comes up with something for him? Or will he remain in the top tier on Smackdown? Or will he get traded to Raw in the Draft? That is coming up, you know. (I don’t see that happening just yet.)

Sheamus, for his part, is the horse no one saw coming. He won the 2012 Royal Rumble, surprisingly outlasting both Randy Orton and Chris Jericho, whom everyone predicted to win. The word is that Jericho was set to win, but Vince ordered the finish changed at the last minute because the internet had guessed it. And that would explain a lot about this feud, because there’s nothing there. No real underpinning to it except “Sheamus won the Rumble so he’s gonna fight Daniel Bryan at Mania.” But Sheamus is in the midst of a major push, so it was only a matter of time he’d be headed for the gold again.

CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho (for the WWE Championship)

This feud has been a long time in coming, and like another high profile match on this card, it has its roots in a real-life conflict between the two men.

When CM Punk changed his destiny last year by dropping that masterful worked shoot promo on Raw, he made repeated reference to himself as the “best … in the world.” And when he challenged John Cena at Money in the Bank, he made that phrase trend in more ways than one when he sported his “Best in the World” t-shirt, which instantly sold out on site and then became a big seller in the WWE online store.

But Jericho said it first, and he wasn’t quiet about his umbrage on Twitter.

Chris Jericho returned to WWE at the start of this year, and immediately set about confusing everyone with his overt enthusiasm, his pandering, and most of all, his silence. The man managed to turn himself heel without saying a word, and when he finally did speak, it looked like we were going to get something crazy.

Except we didn’t. The “end of the world” Jericho promised never happened, because Sheamus won the Royal Rumble. But we did get what we expected, which is a feud with Punk.

The crux of the angle is over who truly is the best in the world. It’s become more personal as it has progressed, as Jericho has begun to bring Punk’s troubled family history into it (again, reality intrudes). But tonight, it’s pretty much going to be about who is the best in the world. And I don’t think we’ll see it settled in Miami, not between the two of them. But between the two of them and the rest of the locker room, yeah, the divide will be writ large.

We’re expecting no less than the Savage/Steamboat of our age.

Triple H vs. the Undertaker (Hell in a Cell with special guest referee Shawn Michaels)

While no one really wanted to see a third HHH/Taker match as Wrestlemania, the way things ended last year more or less set up a sequel, as a victorious Undertaker was carried from the ring on a stretcher, while Hunter was able to walk out on his own. A lot of people hailed that match as a classic. I’m not one of them. It was hard-hitting, to be sure, but the pacing felt off, and it just felt kind of…turgid. So I wasn’t clamoring for another Mania rematch between these two, no.

But when you add Hell in a Cell to it? Ah! Then it becomes necessary, even essential! You see, Triple H and Undertaker are the two men who define that match the most—yet they’ve never fought each other in the Cell. All of a sudden, this needless match has weight, it becomes about something.

Granted, that angle hasn’t been the one they’ve used—it’s just been the build in my mind. This match is really about whether Triple H can finally outdo his best frenemy Shawn Michaels—and everyone else in the company—by ending the Undertaker’s undefeated Wrestlemania streak. And if he does that, my goodness, you may as well end Wrestlemania.

The streak ends when Undertaker is ready for it to end. Should it be ended by Triple H? No way. He’s already accomplished everything he needs to accomplish in the business, and is transitioning to the front office. Ending the streak would cement him as the biggest heel ever, but he doesn’t really have the time to enjoy that anymore. No, someone else needs to end the streak, if it’s going to end at all. I could spend a lot of time theorizing or explaining my choices (*cough*dolphziggler*cough*), but in the end, between these two men, we know how it has to end.

The wild card is Shawn Michaels, and we’re not exactly sure how he was inserted into this match—save for his uncanny ability to be inserted into things and that may have been what she said. Will he call this match down the middle? It would be kind of a waste if he did. Whose side will he come down on, Triple H or Undertaker? The company’s already-forming plans for next year’s Mania complicate the outlook as well. To truly predict this, we have to ask ourselves not only where everyone has been, but where they’re going. And what makes it difficult is that none of them are leaving.

Who should win: Undertaker.
Who will win: Unless the WWE loses all collective sense, Undertaker.

John Cena vs. The Rock

I wrote about this match a while back in comparison with the only other match of its pedigree, The Rock vs. Hulk Hogan. Make no mistake, this is a huge match. It may be the biggest match WWE has ever had, second only—only!—to Hogan vs. Andre at Mania III. But at the time, I wasn’t ready to admit that, because Hogan vs. the Rock was a capital “E” EVENT with an energy and an epic scale that could never be paralleled.

So how can they parallel, even surpass that? Simple, really. These two guys really don’t like each other.

To be fair, we can’t know that for sure. It’s wrestling, so all of it could be a giant work, but something about their collective ring presence, about the way they’re mentioned by others—it carries a veneer of authenticity. That’s not to say we’re going to see a big shoot in the ring. These two men are the utmost professionals, and they’re going to work hard to deliver what they can claim as the greatest professional wrestling match of all time (although Punk/Jericho will likely steal the show). But that doesn’t mean they have to like each other.

In fact, last I read, the show had been rewritten this weekend. I don’t think they’ll quite have the ending down until it goes live tonight. For all we know, anything can and will happen. So it’s tough to call this one.

I’ve been coming down on Cena’s side for the most part because his rivalry with the Rock has lit a fire inside him that we haven’t seen in a long time. The jokey, cartoonish superhero we’ve seen the past few years has been replaced by a more intense model—not that manufatured “Marine” stoicism that I got tired of seeing, but real intensity. Watch his promo from last week’s Raw. When he says “I’ll be Goddamned if I let a visitor like you come in and take my life from me,” I got real chills. That whole passage where he talks about how hehas to win had me believing everything he said.

It helps that Rock has been lobbing relative softballs lately, resorting to his old model of turning out catchphrase after catchphrase. They’ve all instantly trended on Twitter, but “Kung Pao Bitch” feels flat and uninspired next to “It doesn’t matter what you think!” and I think everyone knows it. At least “Fruity Pebbles” got Cena a deal with Post.

But then the Rock showed his own fire by telling John just why he had to go over; in order to be considered the greatest ever, he has to beat the greatest ever, and John Cena is the standard-bearer, the face of the company, and most importantly, the one he hasn’t beaten yet.

I have no clue who’s going to win this one. It’s in the Rock’s hometown, so his win would send the fans home happy. Yet he’s not gonna be around much between now and Wrestlemania 29, whereas Cena—as he’s reminded us week in and week out—will be back tomorrow night on Raw. Night in and night out, he’s there, he has to be. This is his life and all he knows. And unless the Rock is coming back for a rematch next year or even at Summerslam, I don’t see how WWE could bury the man they need to carry them on his shoulders tomorrow, next week, and every week thereafter.

Who should win: John Cena. Yes, I said it.
Who will win: I have no clue, and I’m actually thrilled about it.

The Tumblr trap

Wed, 21 Mar 2012 08:55:35 -0400

The Tumblr trap:

The AV Club recently ran this piece on Tumblr, specifically on how it relates to the in-the-moment nature of pop music, as well as concerns (expressed most notably by Drake) that it limits innovation and expression in favor of circulating the original work of others divorced from context.

The article is interesting enough in that regard, but I’m more engaged by the last couple of paragraphs, elaborating on an earlier quote about the distinction between “URL or IRL.” Especially as it relates to me.

I have, after all, lived a long, relatively eventful internet life, which has become more and more inextricably linked with my IRL existence over time. Frankie Thirteen began as a screen name, the latest of a series of internet identities that I once changed with clockwork regularity. Over ten years later, the name has come to encompass more. I dare say the “point of no return” was when I started playing competitive rock paper scissors, using my screen name as an actual nickname.

Granted, Frankie isn’t the only name I’ve been known to use in certain corners of the internet, but no matter the name, the merging continues—the people on the other end of the screen become so much more than that, to the point that aspects of my life that I once took pains to keep separate have crossed over—and I simply don’t care so much. The URL and IRL are no longer distinct in my case; I have always found it reductive to look at them as separate pieces of the whole, but now I’ve sacrificed the comfort of leaving one behind for the other for just a little while.

“But the idea that living a post-Internet life means choosing between URL and IRL … or combining the two worlds and not being able or wanting to separate yourself from your online persona, is limiting.”

This just makes it sound like you can’t have it any way at all. So then, what is the point of living a “post-Internet life”?

Ehh…at least it puts her on American TV. But not on a...

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:58:25 -0500

Ehh…at least it puts her on American TV. But not on a show I planned to watch. :\

doctorwho:

Doctor Who star Freema Agyeman joins Sex and the City prequel

Former Doctor Who star Freema Agyeman has been cast in the upcoming Sex and the City prequel, The Carrie Diaries.

She will play Larissa in the new TV show, a character described as a “hip, cutting-edge editor/party girl” who works at Interview Magazine, reports Deadline.

Larissa will act as something of a mentor for the young Carrie Bradshaw, who will be played by AnnaSophia Robb in the pilot episode for US network CW.

via Radio Times

criterioncollection: Akira Kurosawa considers an explosion on...

Tue, 06 Mar 2012 04:55:30 -0500

criterioncollection:

Akira Kurosawa considers an explosion on the set of RAN.

boss.

Fighter's High returns!

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 08:31:11 -0500

Fighter's High returns!:

Fighter’s High is a martial arts action adventure web series produced in Philadelphia starting in 2009. We’re about to start production on a brand new season next month, and could use your support! Want to check out the previous episodes? Visit FightersHigh.com!

As for my involvement, it’s been my favorite web series for a while now. I’m actually an extra in the fourth episode—you can see me getting my ass kicked (by my little brother, no less). For the reboot, I’m serving as 1st assistant director. I’m looking forward to getting involved in production, and even more excited to see new episodes!

I would pay to see this made as a movie.

Wed, 22 Feb 2012 03:56:00 -0500

I would pay to see this made as a movie.

In 1986, the film Highlander premiered, starring Christopher...

Fri, 17 Feb 2012 05:30:38 -0500

In 1986, the film Highlander premiered, starring Christopher Lambert and Sean Connery, and featuring original songs by Queen. The film performed rather poorly at the domestic box office, but was enough of an international hit and home video cult success to create a franchise that endures, for better or worse, to this day.

But the initial domestic failure of the film meant there would be no soundtrack album, so Queen took it upon themselves to release their songs from the film themselves. Hence A Kind of Magic, which included most of their songs from the movie, save “Hammer to Fall” (which originally appeared on their album The Works) and a cover of “New York, New York” (which still has yet to see an official release, sadly). The title track (written by drummer Roger Taylor) was used in the end credits, but it’s not the version that was later released on the album and subsequent compilations.

That’s a shame, because I really liked that version of the song. Granted, I do love Freddie Mercury’s rearrangement with added lyrics, breaks, and bass line, but Roger’s version has a more ethereal sound. It’s a better fit with the fantasy and mysticism of the film (although Freddie’s retooling fits with the whole theme of fucking dudes up and cutting off heads, and all that).

Anyway, here’s the original version of “A Kind of Magic.”

coffee-for-two: Shatner! My hero.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 07:17:44 -0500

coffee-for-two:

Shatner!

My hero.

Oh boy. (Wait, wrong show…) doctorwho: Time Lord Man...

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 05:37:18 -0500

Oh boy. (Wait, wrong show…)

doctorwho:

~~Time Lord~~ Man with two hearts survives double-sized attack

At first there didn’t seem to be anything unusual about the man who, in 2010, reported to a Verona, Italy emergency room. He was short of breath, sweating, and had low blood pressure – cardiovascular trouble, no doubt. E.R. doctors see similar symptoms all the time.

But this man was very different indeed. He had two hearts.

“We haven’t ever seen anything similar to this case before,” Dr. Giacomo Mugnai said in an email.

It turned out that a few years earlier, the man had undergone a procedure known as a heterotopic heart transplant. Unlike an orthotopic transplant, in which one organ is removed and another put in its place, a heterotopic transplant pairs a new organ with a diseased one.

“We see this in cardiac patients or kidney patients, sometimes,” explained Dr. Rade Vukmir, professor of emergency medicine at Temple University and a spokesman for the American College of Emergency Physicians. “Surgeons might leave a kidney in place if it’s too much trouble to take out, or if there is hope for recovery of a kidney, or a heart, after a period of time” of being helped by the new organ.

In the case of the ailing Italian, reported in the Annals of Emergency Medicine, the transplant team had mated his new heart with his malfunctioning old one. Chambers and blood vessels of the two hearts were married so that the new heart could support the old one….

Today, the Stop Online Piracy Act would have gone to a vote had...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 09:40:50 -0500

Today, the Stop Online Piracy Act would have gone to a vote had the House not delayed it for retooling in the face of White House opposition. Still, many sites have proceeded to “blackout” today as planned, and even though my site is fairly useless, I stand in solidarity with my internet brethren. Therefore, I will not be posting anything to this site, my Facebook or my Twitter for the rest of the day.

Find your representative or senator here: http://www.congressmerge.com/onlinedb/

Contact them and tell them how you feel about SOPA and PIPA (the similar PROTECT-IP Act). The internet depends on you.

And if I may ask one last thing, please forgive the cliché, but our song of the day is Public Enemy’s “Fight the Power.”

ratedmformascot: What the Funk, Brodus Clay? Oh man, this is...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 06:15:00 -0500

ratedmformascot:

What the Funk, Brodus Clay?

Oh man, this is great.

I remember taping this when it first aired. Sadly, the VHS copy...

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 05:37:08 -0500

I remember taping this when it first aired. Sadly, the VHS copy has since been lost. But I get the feeling when I watch this again, I won’t be quite as sad.

networkawesome:

Movie - Generation X (1996)

A 1996 made-for-TV movie based on the Marvel Comic series of the same name

theavc: Megan Mullally has leaked the first plot details for...

Mon, 09 Jan 2012 13:18:44 -0500

theavc:

Megan Mullally has leaked the first plot details for the Party Down movie, confirming that someone, somewhere, is working towards a Party Down movie. There are maybe investors. This is all the confirmation we need to start working on our outfits for the midnight showing.

Between this and movement on the Arrested Development and 24 movies, it’s a great time for getting our hopes up.

A personal pledge re: SOPA

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 10:02:00 -0500

A personal pledge re: SOPA:

I’ve said a few things here about the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA), which is due for a House vote once Congress gets back from the break. You’ve all likely heard here or elsewhere about how terrible a bill it (and its Senate counterpart, the PROTECT-IP Act, or PIPA) is and how it would, with little doubt, destroy the Internet as we know it.

Marvel Comics and Time Warner (parent of DC Comics) have come out in support of SOPA. As much as I love comics, and enjoy many books from the Big Two, I have to take a stand here. People I know have spoken of boycotting the Big Two for far less (such as a story they didn’t like), or worthier causes (sexist and/or discriminatory material). I’ve always disagreed and said a line-wide boycott isn’t necessary, that simply not buying the offending books and putting your money towards more deserving work makes a clearer point.

But now the problem is bigger than any one book.

That’s why I will no longer purchase any comics from Marvel or DC (or any media from Time Warner) until they publicly renounce their support for SOPA. I urge all of you to do the same, and to make your voices heard through calls, letters, petitions or whatever means is available to you. Let them know that you will not sit idly by while they support a bill that would effectively allow government and big business to censor the Internet at will.

I urge you to stand for this.

record(s) of emotional turmoil

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 09:00:00 -0500

What is the soundtrack of your distress?

I’m aware that question is a bit of a cliché, but you’d be surprised how seldom I get an answer from anyone. I’ve asked this question before on my show, and no one contributes to the discussion (perhaps because it is such a cliché, or because people don’t want to open wounds).

But I want to know. I ask this question a lot, in large part because I want to find new music I can turn to in times of heartbreak, loss and fury. And I don’t mean single songs—no, I’m talking whole albums that appeal to my darker side, that ferry me across the emotional expanse.

So, because I’m tired of talking to myself on this subject, I’m going to put it out there one more time—and I’ll even share my own.

“…are you well in the suffering?”

The most obvious—and the one I’m listening to right now—is Coheed and Cambria’s 2005 opus, Good Apollo, I’m Burning Star IV, Volume One: Fear Through the Eyes of Madness. That is one hell of a title, and in a way, it symbolizes the impenetrability of Coheed’s music to a lot of people. They’re a prog band with a dense science fiction storyline enveloping all of their albums (even lead singer Claudio Sanchez’s side project is a spin-off of the main story). And Sanchez’s voice gets so absurdly high that most people who aren’t already into Rush can’t stand to hear him.

Ironic, then, that the band’s most convoluted album in terms of narrative comes across as their most relatable. The story of Coheed and Cambria is one of IRO-Bots, Monstars, Tri-Mages, and a lattice of worlds called Heaven’s Fence, but Good Apollo pulls its focus outward to tell the parallel story of the writer of the tale. (Not so coincidentally, the Character and Writer share Sanchez’s first name.) While the Character battles the sinister forces that command the Fence, the Writer tries to contend with the memories of a failed relationship. When he is overcome with visions suggesting he kill his ex, the Writer decides he must kill her analogue in his story.

The more universal concerns of the story lead to the band’s most direct album: at its heart, Good Apollo is about the anger and resentment following your relationship. There’s a lot of lashing out, from the powerful, pounding “Welcome Home” (“If you really loved me/you would have endured my world”) to “Once Upon Your Dead Body” (“I hope you die right now/will you drink my chemical?”) to the “Apollo” duology (“No, girl/I don’t want to think of you anymore”). None of it is very subtle, but none of it needs to be.

“The return of the Thin White Duke, throwing darts in lovers’ eyes…”

David Bowie’s “Station to Station” is a masterpiece of longing, despite his insistence otherwise. It’s a collection of six songs crooned by Bowie under the guise of the Thin White Duke, a lovelorn, sadistic fascist madman. It starts much like the title suggests, with the sound of a locomotive chugging down the line. The title track pulls slowly from the station, putting some distance between it and its start point before the iconic above lyric, the song’s first, is sung. And then, it builds and builds, a crescendo of need tangled with cruelty.

“Golden Years” is pure dancefloor funk, an empty expression of love, while “Word on a Wing” seems so impassioned, so pure a plea to God for some kind of understanding, that it’s shocking in itself to consider its vacancy. (And then there’s the truly gonzo “TVC 15,” about the time Iggy Pop’s girlfriend was eaten by a television. Yeah. There were lots of drugs.)

But it’s the last two songs that bookend the title track so beautifully: “Stay,” my favorite song, another plea for companionship—or drugs—whichever, set to a driving guitar riff and rattling beat. And then there’s a haunting, superior cover of “Wild is the Wind.” Bowie pours his heart, or whatever the Duke has beating in his chest, into the song, and his band—a phenomenally tight combination—turns in a truly awesome performance.

“This is not a sin. It’s not even original.”

After the dissolution of the original incarnation of the Divine Comedy following their debut album, frontman Neil Hannon assumed the name on his own and developed a character around the act, an amorous, literate dandy. Neil as TDC reached his apex with 1996’s Casanova, one of the best, most cynical albums about sex ever recorded.

It begins with a breakup in the rollicking title track (“Something for the Weekend”), and the protagonist spends the remainder of the album seducing his way across Europe, luring a young woman into bed with him (“Middle Class Heroes”) before callously discarding her (the deliciously wicked “In and Out of Paris and London”), then meeting his match in a Frenchwoman who toys with his heart (“The Frog Princess”). A meeting with Breakfast at Tiffany’s Holly Golightly is on the agenda as well in the bouncy “A Woman of the World.”

The protagonist descends into paranoia and confusion in the climactic “Through a Long and Sleepless Night,” ruminating on desire, frustration, gender, and most of all, stagnation. It’s a marathon of furious, exquisite perversion, ending with a commitment to “live your own life, in the way that you find most amusing.” Because as the final, Scott Walker-esque song, “The Dogs and the Horses” reminds us, “Every horse has its year, and every dog its day, my son.”

Casanova could come off as mean-spirited if it weren’t so lively, like the best Broadway musical never recorded. Much of Neil’s best work boasts a theatrical scope, and Casanova is arguably the best of that lot, and one of my “break glass in case of broken heart” records.

“…you still look pretty when you’re putting the damage on.”

One way or another, I always return to Tori Amos and Boys for Pele. Arguably her last truly classic album, Pele was the product of a turbulent period for Tori in her relationships with men. While her previous album, Under the Pink, centered on the ways women can betray and destroy each other, Pele is about how women can destroy themselves over men.

At times acidic, at others icy, and often torrid, Tori’s voice guides me through Pele like a confused young lover, not only surveying the ruins of her own love life, but also the destructions of friends (“Marianne”) and even family (“Little Amsterdam”). To me, her songs often suggest the damage that people often inflict upon themselves in the name of love (like the “little masochist” in “Hey Jupiter”). There’s also the realization that the person you’re seeing just doesn’t measure up (“Caught a Lite Sneeze”). And then, Tori meets the devil (“Father Lucifer”), because come on, drugs.

Boys for Pele is actually Tori Amos’ least accessible album, so I’m glad I came to it well after I’d gotten acquainted with her through her two previous albums and the one following. Her first four albums form her “classic canon,” but to me, Pele will always be her Empire Strikes Back: the darkest, and the deepest.

So, what are some of your favorite cathartic albums?

It’s a Divine Comedy kind of day. And it may be one of...

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:35:49 -0500

It’s a Divine Comedy kind of day. And it may be one of the last times I (or any of us) can post a song to my Tumblr. After all, Congress is returning tomorrow to vote on the Stop Online Piracy Act. Sign petitions, call your representative (the best course of action), do whatever you can to let Washington know this is a catastrophic measure.

SOPA Emergency IP list

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 07:18:11 -0500

SOPA Emergency IP list:

anglophonic:

So when these assfucks in DC decide to ruin the internet, here’s how to access your favorite sites in the event of a DNS takedown

tumblr.com 174.121.194.34
wikipedia.org 208.80.152.201

# News
bbc.co.uk 212.58.241.131
aljazeera.com 198.78.201.252

# Social media
reddit.com 72.247.244.88
imgur.com 173.231.140.219
google.com 74.125.157.99
youtube.com 74.125.65.91
yahoo.com 98.137.149.56
hotmail.com 65.55.72.135
bing.com 65.55.175.254
digg.com 64.191.203.30
theonion.com 97.107.137.164
hush.com 65.39.178.43
gamespot.com 216.239.113.172
ign.com 69.10.25.46
cracked.com 98.124.248.77
sidereel.com 144.198.29.112
github.com 207.97.227.239

# Torrent sites
thepiratebay.org 194.71.107.15
mininova.com 80.94.76.5
btjunkie.com 93.158.65.211
demonoid.com 62.149.24.66
demonoid.me 62.149.24.67

# Social networking
facebook.com 69.171.224.11
twitter.com 199.59.149.230
tumblr.com 174.121.194.34
livejournal.com 209.200.154.225
dreamwidth.org 69.174.244.50
deviantart.com 199.15.160.100

# Live Streaming Content
stickam.com 67.201.54.151
blogtv.com 84.22.170.149
justin.tv 199.9.249.21
chatroulette.com 184.173.141.231
omegle.com 97.107.132.144
own3d.tv 208.94.146.80
megavideo.com 174.140.154.32

# Television
gorillavid.com 178.17.165.74
videoweed.com 91.220.176.248
novamov.com 91.220.176.248
tvlinks.com 208.223.219.206
1channel.com 208.87.33.151

# Shopping
amazon.com 72.21.211.176
newegg.com 216.52.208.187
frys.com 209.31.22.39

# File Sharing
mediafire.com 205.196.120.13
megaupload.com 174.140.154.20
fileshare.com 208.87.33.151
multiupload.com 95.211.149.7
uploading.com 195.191.207.40
warez-bb.org 31.7.57.13
hotfile.com 199.7.177.218
gamespy.com 69.10.25.46
what.cd 67.21.232.223
warez.ag 178.162.238.136
putlocker.com 89.238.130.247
uploaded.to 95.211.143.200
dropbox.com 199.47.217.179
pastebin.com 69.65.13.216

Added LJ and DW.

Here’s a tip for the do-it-yourself crowd: Go to your computer’s Start menu, and either go to “run” or just search for “cmd.” Open it up, and type in “ping [website address],” like so:

Once you have the IP for a website, all you really need to do is enter it like you would a normal URL and hit enter/press go. Typing in “208.85.240.231” should bring you to the front page of AO3, for example, just as typing “174.121.194.34/dashboard” should bring you straight to your Tumblr dashboard. Since we’re obviously bracing for the worst case scenario which would involve you not being able to access Tumblr regularly, you should, like, save this list, I guess.

added deviantArt

EVERYONE REBLOG THIS

Sincere thanks. Please keep adding on.

Frankie Thirteen dot com.

Holy fuck, he sounds glorious. anji-beast: tyleroakley: Jeremy...

mola1: Hey, I got your #ChuckNorrisFact right here… Best grin...

here's what I thought about Wrestlemania...

here's what I think about Wrestlemania...

The Tumblr trap

Ehh…at least it puts her on American TV. But not on a...

Doctor Who star Freema Agyeman joins Sex and the City prequel

criterioncollection: Akira Kurosawa considers an explosion on...

Fighter's High returns!

I would pay to see this made as a movie.

In 1986, the film Highlander premiered, starring Christopher...

coffee-for-two: Shatner! My hero.

Oh boy. (Wait, wrong show…) doctorwho: Time Lord Man...

Time Lord Man with two hearts survives double-sized attack

Today, the Stop Online Piracy Act would have gone to a vote had...

ratedmformascot: What the Funk, Brodus Clay? Oh man, this is...

I remember taping this when it first aired. Sadly, the VHS copy...

theavc: Megan Mullally has leaked the first plot details for...

A personal pledge re: SOPA

record(s) of emotional turmoil

It’s a Divine Comedy kind of day. And it may be one of...

SOPA Emergency IP list